Women - Can't Live with'em.....

Can't live without'em....unless your gay ! Then you can have it both ways....not to mention , sharing clothes !!

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.> > >Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.> > >Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.> > >Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.> > >And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to> > >purchase.> > >As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television> > >set in her purse.> > >"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.> > >"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and > >I> > >figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.">
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women.> > > I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,> > > pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,> > > and still be afraid of a spider
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,> > >Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that> > >husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."> > >He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"> > >Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's> > >Pillsbury, isn't it
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.> > >The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers> > >that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.> > >She directs him down the correct aisle.> > >A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton> > >balls and a ball of string on the counter.> > >She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for> > >your wife?> > >He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the> > >store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of> > >tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much > >cheaper.> > >So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.> > >> > > ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. > >An> > >earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to> > >concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,> > >goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"> > >"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a> > >day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.> > >The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat> > >everything to men...> > >The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid> > >and so beautiful all at the same time.> > >" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.> > > God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;> > > God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who> > >should brew the coffee each morning.> > >The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,> > >and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."> > >The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you > >should> > >do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee. "Wife> > >replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the> > >man should do the coffee."> > >Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."> > >So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at> > >the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN......HANDLE IT !
A funny bunch , but The Wizard wished the lady hadn't used so many bulletts , this also came from the JibJab Joke Box , look for posts below for info on joining !!!