
Gin Blossoms The Wizard sometimes lapses into a non-musical assault at his blogging....but while listening to his DMX radio station last nite , he was reminded of one of the more recent bands to get his foot tapping along to the tunes.....!!!!
WELCOME , I am the great and all-powerful WIZARD OF ROCK AND ROLL , WTF ,are you ? Worthless Knowledge is my Forte ! All my Heroes are Sandwiches! The WIZARD accepts donations ! THE WIZARD's Best piece of Free Advice is : "Always make sure the fornicating you're getting ! Is worth,the fornicating you're getting !



THE WIZARD loves these tests or games , try this one from my pal SAL !!!
THE WIZARD considers the subject of Dementia , a very serious disability , and in no way means this post to be anything but informative !!!!
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question.To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

I don't know about the flavored pretzels , but best in any size , shape or flour type !!!!!
Axl Rose Sued by Former Bandmates
Fri Aug 26,12:09 PM ET
LOS ANGELES - Two former members of the rock band Guns N' Roses have sued frontman
Axl Rose for allegedly naming himself sole administrator of the group's copyrights.
The suit was filed Aug. 17 in federal court by Slash and Duff, otherwise known as Saul Hudson and Michael McKagan. It accuses Rose of profiting from their revenue shares to the tune of about $500,000 a year.
The suit claims Rose directed the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers to send all publishing royalties to his publishing company, bypassing the band's other partners.
Rose is "suffering an apparent attack of arrogance and ego. He is no longer willing to acknowledge the contributions of his former partners and bandmates in having created some of rock's greatest hits," the suit said.
Rose's attorney, Howard Weitzman, said the singer had asked to receive only his portion of royalties, and that the overpayment was due to a clerical error by the society. He said Rose had returned the extra funds to the organization.
Guns N' Roses formed in the mid-1980s and recorded such hit songs as "Welcome to the Jungle," "Paradise City" and "Sweet Child o' Mine."
Hudson and McKagan filed a suit against Rose last year, alleging the singer had wrongly claimed ownership of the group's assets after he quit the group in 1995. It also claimed that Rose had blocked Hudson and McKagan from licensing the band's recordings to movie producers. The case is pending.
Rose is the only member of the band who retains the right to perform under the Guns N' Roses name. Hudson and McKagan are now part of the rock band Velvet Revolver.
The Wizard has no respect for Mr. Rose....great music....butt head to his fans !!!!!

The gang's all here !
Arrogant enuff !
The best shot !
MAY GO SOLO BIG TIME !


The U.S. Postal Service has created a stamp with a picture of President George W. Bush to honor his first term achievements. In daily use it has been shown that the stamp is not sticking to envelopes. This has enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing , a special presidential commission has made the following findings: The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive. People are spitting on the wrong side !!!
You won't find the above story.....but Yeti !
I believe this may be the book cover on AFDB !

What happens when creative people have great subject matter! The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the "Style Invitational." The requirements this week were to use the two, words Lewinsky(The Intern) and Kaczynski (the Unabomber) in the same limerick. Remember, the following winning entries were printed in the newspaper.
Third place:There once was a girl named Lewinsky Who played on a flute like Stravinsky .'Twas "Hail to the Chief"On this flute made of beef That stole the front page from Kaczynski.
Second place:Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky"We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,Since you made such a mess,Use the hem of your dress And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky."
And the winning entry:Lewinsky and Clinton have shownWhat Kaczynski must surely have known That an intern is better Than a bomb in a letter When deciding how best to be blown !
This rather nasty collection came to the Wizard by way of " All of ART " !
I looked up the Post and it may or may not be real , I found other links but one was called Jumbo Joke, so laugh but the Post may not be tasteless afterall !!!

These are this year's stupidity, I mean Darwin Award weiners !!
It's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners.
Darwin Award Winners:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....
And now,the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his carduring a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbawean busdriver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to betransporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offeredeveryone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers tothe mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit thewould-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out ofthe car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,frustrated, walked away.A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admittedto trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motorhome's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.